This is a post from guest blogger Jennifer Millman, a speech therapist and Scarsdale mom. We appreciate her helpful insights to our blog. You can learn more about Jennifer on her website.
Staying in touch with preschoolers during an extended separation can be difficult, especially when you’re used to seeing each other in person. It can be challenging to connect with preschool children over FaceTime or Zoom. Here are a few ideas to grab their attention and keep them engaged. While these ideas are meant for preschoolers, they can work well with children in kindergarten through third grade as well!
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Go on an adventure.
I have yet to meet a preschooler who enjoys making small talk or answering questions about what they’re doing and how they’re feeling. Instead, try going on a virtual adventure over Zoom or FaceTime. Before you call, look around your home for a few props, such as goggles and a beach hat. When your preschooler answers the call and asks why you’re wearing goggles, you can say something playful: “I’m pretending to go to the beach today. Can you come, too?” They might enjoy running to get their own swimsuit and beach towels. You can also pretend to rub sunscreen on your face, spray bug spray on your neck, or even wipe your “wet” hair dry with a towel. The sillier, the better. To keep the conversation going, try to make funny comments (e.g. “A fish just nibbled on my toe!”) instead of asking questions (“Do you want to go swimming?”) or giving directions (e.g. “Time to get in the water!”). Preschoolers love to be in charge, so let them take control of the adventure. Most of what you say should be in response to what they say. For example, if your preschooler says that it’s time for lunch at the beach, you can ask her what she packed in the picnic basket, then ask her for a bite of your favorite items. Follow their lead and have some fun!
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Read a book.
Some preschoolers will love it if you call them on FaceTime with a favorite book and just start reading. I suggest flipping your camera around so that you can see their face on your screen while you read, and they can see the pictures in the book you’re reading. When using an iPhone or iPad, frame the book vertically (portrait, not landscape) and center the camera on the page you’re reading. If you’re nervous about doing this, try practicing first with an adult or their parent, to get a sense of what works and what doesn’t. You can also record a book using your computer and a webcam. Most computers with windows have a “Camera” app in their Start Menu that will make recording easy. If this is too intimidating, check out Skybrary, Epic! and Storyline Online. You can watch the books separately, and then talk about them with your preschooler. No matter how you read the book, resist the urge to ask open-ended questions (“What did you think of the book?”) and instead make playful comments that will engage your preschooler’s imagination (“I can’t believe she ate the carrot cake in her sleep!”)
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Accept the limitations of screens
Preschoolers may not have the language to express their mixed emotions about screen time. On the one hand, they may be excited to see your face, but it can also remind them of how much they miss seeing you in person. Try to keep your conversations short and light. If their attention is fading, end on a happy note (“It was fun talking to you! Let’s talk again soon. Bye!”). If they hang up on you or lose interest abruptly, don’t take it personally. If you’re not having success interacting in real time, try sending their parents short emails addressed to them, perhaps with a picture from your day and a caption; again, the sillier, the better. If they’re really not interested in talking in real time, ask their parents to send you short videos or voice memos so you can see or hear them without putting pressure on them to reciprocate. And remember that all of this will pass and nothing will be sweeter than seeing them in person again.
Jennifer Millman earned her Master of Arts in Speech-Language-Hearing from Temple University and her Bachelor of Arts in Spanish from Yale University. She is one of only five Certified Prompt Therapists in Southern Westchester. She has worked with infants, toddlers, children and adolescents with a variety of speech and language needs, including expressive and receptive language delay, articulation disorders, autism spectrum disorder, childhood apraxia of speech, Down Syndrome, cerebral palsy, acquired brain injury, ankyloglossia, spina bifida, muscular dystrophy, severe hearing loss, vision impairment and mental retardation. You can learn more about Jennifer on her website.